Meeple Blog > Young Anakin vs. Jar Jar Binks

Young Anakin vs. Jar Jar Binks

Young Anakin vs. Jar Jar Binks


We here at The Malted Meeple are eagerly awaiting the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Until then, we are keeping the excitement alive through some interesting – and controversial! – head-to-head battles featuring some of the unverse’s most famous or infamous characters. Guest blogger Mitch Cooper returns this week for another comparison. The contestants: Anakin Skywalker and Jar Jar Binks. Who’s the most annoying of them all?

In past columns we have explored who would win in a battle or who is more evil. Simple enough.

Today, we all lose as we determine just exactly who was more obnoxious and just plain irritating: Jar-Jar Binks or Anakin Skywalker in Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

At first, I thought this would be incredibly easy to decide; of course it would be Jar-Jar. He’s notorious for ruining the first movie. Everyone HATED his character with all the annoying lines and dumb things he did. When a character’s sole purpose is comedic relief, and it’s not funny, it means instant dumpster fire. (Although, I must admit, I do enjoy performing impressions of his character from time to time.)

However, like any good Jedi, I searched The Force (a.k.a. YouTube) to research everything each of the characters said and did in the first prequel. My findings were shocking.

Based on the few videos I watched, it was surprising how many more annoying things Anakin said compared to Jar-Jar. While the latter character was all CGI and incredibly stupid, much of the plot in the movie surrounded this “savior of the Jedi” who delivered the most moronic lines in the worst way.

Let’s revisit, shall we?

It’s working. IT’S WORKING!

Are you an Angel? An angel! I’ve heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the moons of Lego, I think. They’re the most beautiful creatures in the universe. (Even for an eight-year-old boy, that’s terrible game.)

It wasn’t my fault. Sebulba flashed me with his vents. I actually saved the pod… Mostly.

Go back? Qui-Gon told me to stay in this cockpit and that’s what I’m going to do! (Sarcastic little brat.)

Now this is podracing!

To get the full, pungent effect, Google “Nobody knows what to do with Anakin Skywalker.” You’ll be cringing in no time.

I think most people stink on Jar-Jar because his character is absolutely pointless and detracts from the story more than anything. However, because Anakin is one of the key characters in the entire saga, it is important that the role be cast correctly (which it wasn’t) and that his development be created well (epic fail).

Other than underusing the awesomeness that is/was Darth Maul, Anakin’s character was the major downfall of this movie and the following two. (Seriously, who picked Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen?).

Admittedly, it’s probably more difficult to find well-rounded child actors, but at no point in this movie was Anakin’s character ever believable or able to connect with the audience. Cute kid, terrible actor. And, apparently, terrible at following traffic laws.

Of course, all Jar-Jar haters “gonna’ hate,” and Anakin gets his share too, but let’s not forget the truly evil force pulling the strings behind it all with a dastardly menace.

George Lucas.

Editor’s Note: As always, the opinions expressed herein are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Malted Meeple. Or rational people in general. We all know that Jar Jar Binks can out-obnoxious anyone, anytime, anywhere!

Disagree? Stop on in to the Malted Meeple and let us know. We are always glad to discuss riveting topics like this over a craft beer or delicious milkshake and a board game!